How to go on
by Kasuyorai
Summary: Major Spoilers for Season 2 up to episode 8, also for Lost Small World. Fushimi's walking through the streets and thinks about certain events (and a little extra). This is me coming to terms with them as well.


**A/N:**

Ehem. Yeah, hello.

 **\- - - - - BIG Spoilerwarning ! - - - - -**

This is the events of (up to) season 2 episode 8 and Fushimi's thoughts about it - and a little extra. The anime is awesome, so go watch it, if you don't already have.

Also, I do not own K (project), but GoRA/GoHands do. I do not get any profit from this, aside from a slightly calmer mind because I really had to write about this. So I am just borrowing the characters.  
(' **...Bla** ' - Those lines are directly from the episode, so they're not mine)

And I do hope I managed to not make them (too) OOC.  
Also, some references (spoilers) to Lost Small World near the end.

 **How to go on**

It was dark outside and Fushimi walked through the streets of Shizume City, alone and not in his Scepter 4 uniform for a change. To say that he was annoyed would be an understatement, it would probably not even begin to cover it. He nearly growled when he remembered the events that had led up to this.

They had all messed up. Munakata, the reds, the silver king and even he himself.

The greens' plan had suceeded. The blue king lost his fight against the gray king, who appeared practically out of nowhere with nobody expecting his involvement, least of all the blue and silver kings.

He clicked his tongue in annoyance: Tch, even this know-it-all of his own king had not seen it coming. Wasn't this supposed to be a specialty of his? Anticipating the actions of everyone around him. In hindsight it had been so obvious, that the green king had some kind of secret weapon or a joker, especially since he went through with the plan, knowing that he would be up against this makeshift alliance of the three red, blue and silver clans.

That confidence Mishakuji, Sukuna and the green king Hisui Nagare had displayed climbing and fighting their way up the tower should have been a warning.  
But maybe that was his ego talking, it would have been nice to not have his own efforts in stopping them brushed aside like they were nothing. Not that he could have hoped to do anything but slow them down. After all, he was nothing but a clansman, so that was the most he could hope for.

And the silver king, Isana Yashiro as he called himself now, claiming to know everything there was to know about Hisui Nagare - he had to pull himself together to not let out a sarcastic laugh. It had been ridiculous in its own right.  
Maybe Munakata was right, he did enjoy that it had turned out like this.

Kings were stupid. They did not bother to understand the people serving them and maybe they really were unable to. Having such massive power at their fingertips, it most likely warped their perception of the world, to the point that they thought themselves immune to human things like failing... at anything.

Well, probably. He had his own unterstanding of the beings, who called themselves kings, and most important of all was that noone could really hope to understand them, unless they were a king themselves.

Still, there were _some_ things he _did_ understand. So it had irked him to no end to see the blue king _sulking_.

Munakata had lost a one-on-one fight against another king and now that always confident person just tried to crawl into a shell and hide from the world and from his own responsibility.

It was not that he liked seeing the blue king defeated. It did not sit well with him. But as it was a fight between kings, of course loosing was a possibility. No, what really annoyed him, was the fact that Munakata acted like the world was ending. He had given up and even told them to obey the orders of the silver king now. There was so much to be done, most of all one had to think of ways to get the slates back. Yet he _refused_ to even _give out orders_.

He had not actually meant for his words to be _this_ hurtful, but he had to say _something_.  
(It was not like he could have gone up to him and comfort _or_ hit him - though if it had to be one of those options he'd prefer the second one. It was still not his style.)

He had meant to shake the blue king up, hoping the other would realise they had a situation at hand that called for action, not _sitting around sulking_.

If he had been in the other's place, he would be _angry_ to say the least. After all, he himself had seen firsthand the effort Munakata had put into protecting and controlling the slates. Now he was just going to let it go? After _all that_ work?

This mismatched bunch of an alliance needed someone to take charge, and he highly doubted that it would be the silver king after this failure. Actually in his opinion, the silver king had failed more than Munakata had (it was a plan by the silver king after all, and he heard the fight was more of a duel, so really _where_ had the red and silver kings been - _just standing by watching?_ ), but he had heard nothing of the silver king trying to abandon everything.  
Well, _this_ time at least.

It had become an interesting situation, and all Munakata thought about was his own mistakes. He sighed.

What had happend to the man he had followed all this time? It was utterly unfitting for someone in his position to act like this.

Fushimi's own feelings aside, was _that_ guy _glad_ that the slates were gone? That he did not have to bear this burden anymore?  
It was a lot of strain on mind and body to contain the power of the slates if someone such as Munakata was showing it. (And there still was what happend with the previous red King, Miko- Suoh Mikoto. He wouldn't really blame the blue king for wanting a break, even though it would help a lot if he _got over it already_.)

And if Munakata was _not glad_ about the events, why could he not _do something_ about it _?_  
He had thought that man, who was so fond of controlling everything around him, to be more persistent.

While he had been annoyed with what this meant for the leadership qualities of the man before him (and in turn for the time he had spent following that man's orders) the words had formed without him being able to stop it.

 **'If your're bailing now, I'm resigning.'**

It was supposed to be telling this guy, that if he was going to be like this, there was no need for people to follow him.

But Munakata, his boss, the one who was supposed to be so damn good at reading people, at knowing what they would do, say or think, sometimes even before they knew themselves, had ignored the meaning behind his words completely.

 **'Then resign.'**

... _What?_

 **'You're used to being a traitor anyway.'**

... _Tch._

That had hurt more than he expected it to.

He was not used to this kind of treatment from the blue king.

Was that guy really just ignoring him? Or rather, everything that he tried to tell him, what Fushimi or the blue clansmen in general needed their king to do? None of _them_ would have said _anything_ , too full of respect, or rather _awe_ , to voice even as much as doubts when it came to what their king wanted to do.

Munakata's words hurt. This situation was a whole lot different from the time he left the red clan, and it felt like the blue king had no right to bring that up. Here he tried to give that _stubborn_ man a little push into the right direction, and that was his thanks?

Shortly, he contemplated whether he should tell this directly to the blue king, who seemed to be so ... _blind_ today, but quickly decided against it. He was _not_ going back on his word.

'Don't leave.' - That would have been the correct reaction. Munakata and even Misaki back then - why didn't any of them understand?

Tch.

Yes, his own world was a small world, and yet _again_ a person he _at least somewhat_ let in told him, that he wasn't needed.

So, if it was _this_ Munakata wanted, he would comply. Kind of a last bit of respect he had left for the man.

He had left his saber and uniform at the scene and walked away without looking back even once. Faintly he could hear the question by Hidaka, if it was okay to not stop him, brushed aside by the blue king, so noone was coming after him.

He was not sure if he would have preferred to be chased, but it would have at least been a distraction from his own thoughts. And he would have enjoyed some workout after not fighting at the tower. He would have wanted to crush something to vent his frustration, but ' _destroying public property_ ' as Munakata ( _Tch._ ) would have called it would only end in unnecessary trouble.

So, after leaving the scene at Mihashira Tower, he had just wanted to get as far away from those guys as possible. But before that he needed some things. He still lived in the dorm at Scepter 4 headquarters, meaning all his possessions were there. It was not much, but some civillian clothes would be useful, and he did not intend to leave his electronics behind either. He sighed and sped up his walking - he would be _damned_ if he was not out of the building before the others came back, he did not want to see any of them.

He took the shortest route he knew and it still took too much time, but at the same time it was too short and he was standing in front of headquarters, still annoyed about the whole situation.

It did not take long to gather the things he wanted to take, as most of the things he owned were actually related to work in some way. A sarcastic smirk tugged his lips as he took note of this. It showed very clearly how his life had been basically work, sleep and back to work (with a shower in between) for his time with Scepter 4.

This time he allowed himself to look back as he left, taking in the scenery of the majestic building that was Scepter 4's headquarters.

He had never taken part in the social gatherings as long as it was not Munakata who forced him into it. (Why was he thinking of that man again?)

Come to think of it, he really did not leave anything behind, did he?

Exept for work. And some idiots he had always held at a comfortable distance. It was not like any of them would miss him. The only thing they would have to deal with was the work he would normally do. They would manage somehow, it was not like he was needed after all, was it? The blue king himself told him to go.

He originally had joined Scepter 4 to get away from the red clan, and he had stayed because he was actually a little thankful for their help. He had a job, a purpose and it was easier to breath in. He could do without the loads of paperwork, but at the end of the day this place had been okay to stay in, maybe he had even liked it a little.

Not enough to let himself be ridiculed by a broken man though.

He forced himself to take a deep breath as he had felt his chest tighten uncomfortablly and turned around. What was he doing getting sentimental and about Scepter 4 of all things.

 _What am I going to do now_?

He would try to avoid the blue clan for now, obviously. Shortly, an image of a certain bar flickered through his mind but he quickly shook his head trying to get rid of the thought. Without his consent a slighty sad smile formed on his lips again, as he thought back to his last interaction with Misaki.

He would actually not be suprised if the recent turn of events upset Misaki almost as much as when he left the red clan. He had even told him he should defend his king. _Useless_ , he thought. After all, Misaki had been right. It would have been their win, had Munakata not lost his battle. _Shouldn't you be glad that you're right, Misaki~?_

He was not as hot-headed or extremely loyal as his ex-friend was. And it had always been one of Misaki's less good traits to assume that people in general, and especially Fushimi, should share a similiar attitude.

No, he definitely would not visit the red clan. Even more so with this newly formed alliance, he could do without Munakata hearing how the traitor _crawled back to his old comrades_.

The silver clan was also out of question, for the similar reasons.

For now he decided to spend the night in a hotel. Money was not a big problem, as the pay from his _previous job_ (yes, he would best think of it like this now) had been quite good. He found one rather quickly as he was not exactly picky at the moment, but chose the first one to catch his eye after he made that decision.

But after checking in he did find that just sitting in a hotel room right now was probably going to drive him _insane_. So he left his bag at the room, just took some money and his PDA with him and went out again, with the vague intention of going for a walk to think and grabbing something to eat. It was not a solution, but for now it would do. He would just have to find a new job soon.

What sort of job would he even look for?

With his personality it was not that he could do anything like serving costumers, and while his body was in no way weak because he needed to be able to fight, he would _definitely_ not do any heavy physical work. When he thought about normal jobs, that he might do, the first that came to mind was actually... office jobs. _Ugh_. Well, he _did_ have _some_ experience with that.  
Something involving electronics might also be okay, not considering that he was used to dealing with the very latest and best equipment that was often not available on the market yet. Some _great_ outlook that was.

And there was the problem with his aura. He did still have it. He would also probably keep it until some day Munakata passed away or something. And he did not want to be treated like a _strain_ by his _former colleagues_.

So his thoughts went back to the slates.

Those damned slates that had ruined so much of his life. Without the slates, there would be no kings, and he and Misaki could still be - ...but that was hardly an option right now. The slates was gone from the tower, but that did not mean it was _gone_. More than that, its' power would be released and all of mankind would have a problem.

Well, that's what the silver king said.

The bigger problem to him right now was actually, that there was no way that he could just forget everything about the kings and the slates and go on living what one would call a normal life. As things were, he would not be able to escape the influence of the slates.

One way or the other he could not help but be concerned about what would be happening with that annoying piece of stone, that had already caused so much trouble and many, many deaths in the past. Even if this alliance, which he was no longer a part of, succeeded in getting the slates back, he could no longer say with certainity that it would be okay for the blue king to handle it.

So what was it exactly that the green king wanted to do with it? Release it. But why? The only people he had ever heard talking about it, had been very convinced that this was a terrible idea. What would be the benefits?

...Well. Now he was genuinely curious.

He sighed. He was no longer a part of Scepter 4, but as a person, there was no way he could just leave the situation be. There was too much at stake and too much that would have a direct influence on his life, regardless of what he was going to do in the future.

So he would further look into the situation. He pondered whether talking about this with the silver king was going to help, he was knowlegable when it came to the slates, and maybe would be able to understand him, even though Fushimi still had a little problem with someone looking like a laid-back highschooler being a king.  
But the thought of further working together with his old red clan, as well as with the blue clan after what just had happend, made his skin crawl. Absentmindedly, he raised his hand to scratch the marred skin at his left collarbone, hoping to just forget that pain a little.

All right, there was no way he would go to the silver king for that matter.

So, how was he going to find out about the things he wanted to know?  
If he was going to avoid the red, blue and silver clan right now, who -

A rather absurd idea entered his mind as he saw someone walking past him, fiddling with his PDA.

\- JUNGLE.

He pulled out his own PDA and stared at it. There was JUNGLE, the app that the green clan used for communication. When had he started laughing? It was the rather hollow and morbid kind, but he was definitely laughing and he had a hard time stopping it.

When he calmed down a little, he started considering the idea seriously.

He did have his own share of experiences with that app, and in the past he had not liked it too much. Aside from the usual social network stuff there was a certain malice that he disliked, which had also shown itself clearly in the more recent missions of Jungle, giving Scepter 4 so much trouble lately.

He had done a few of them a long time ago together with his cousin Aya and Misaki, but that soon had stopped. The missions had been fun, but that was because of said companions, not the missions themselves. And it would not ever be like that again.  
Not to mention it was spyware.

Then later he (and Misaki) had tried to hack into Jungle's servers, but it had failed in the end, and it had been an overall frightening experience that he did not wish to repeat.

But he would definitely be able to get his answers there. And he would not _idly sit by_ as these incredibly powerful beings known as kings fought a battle that would decide the very future of the world he lived in.

If they are going to 'save' this world, then I want to see it. If the world is going to get destroyed, then I want to know about it. But - it would not be a bad outcome either. After all, _what is left in there for me to care about?_

Before Fushimi had even ended that thought, he had gone and bought a disposable PDA, in addition to his own one and begun downloading that app.

His mind flashed back to the blue king and he couldn't help but twitch his face in new-found annoyance.

I am a traitor anyway? **Fine, then I'll become a traitor.**

And with those words in mind he logged in.

 **A/N:**

Well, this episode just took me and ripped me apart, as I really, really like seeing Fushimi and Munakata getting along.

Also it still seems there are thoughts all over the place for Fushimi, though I tried to fix that a little.

Also thanks for reading, and if you have any tips concerning writing, I would appreciate it, as this is the first time I've written anything remotely fanfiction-like.

And English is not my main language, so sorry about any mistakes ^^'  
( _Edit: some minor fixes/changes done - there are probably still enough left though_ )  
 _(Edit 2: Yes, season two is over. And for reasons mentioned above I am perfectly happy with this being kinda AU-ish.)_

Thanks =D


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